It’s Important to Notice and Pay Attention. It Makes a Difference.

I’m not able to change or control every aspect of my current life. It’s important to notice and pay attention though. By noticing what’s going on, I can evaluate and choose how I will respond to a situation. This can affect how others respond too. Thus, I’m able to adjust my trajectory in ways that still bring about positive aspects and better outcomes. 🙂

It’s been a personally challenging season. I’ve also grown a lot. (Stay tuned for a post coming soon). These last few years have brought on a lot of loneliness. My family moved to a new town. 40 minutes from our old house. It honestly feels like living on an island. We are now surrounded by fields. Before, we were right in town. I’ve had a lot of time to think, pray and figure out why this season has felt very difficult and challenging and here are my conclusions.

Noticing a Loss of Community

Our current church is too far to continue to attend. Thankfully, they have online services while we are searching for a new church and community. I had recently plugged into a community group right before leaving. It wasn’t the best fit. But I was getting outside of my routine each week. As a caretaker for family members, I didn’t work outside the home. My hope though, was to start some healthy new relationships.

Observing how I feel in a New Town

Also I’d never visited this town before moving. I once loved living in the country. Admittedly we were closer in. Surprisingly, this current season, I miss being in town and around people. I’ve lived in and around one town my entire life. The feeling of the of being known matters to me. Now it’s a 20+ minute commute to the unfamiliar, let alone the 40-60 minutes for the familiar.

This was honestly not a place I would have chosen for my family members, (aka my parents and two sisters) to move. With two brothers in the military for years, and them finally coming home…It’s been hard to realize that most of my family may choose to settle in one place, and I might live somewhere else. I still treasure these relationships and though I choose to live somewhere else now, it doesn’t mean I’ll stay there forever either. Who knows the future…

Staying Stuck in the Same Mindsets vs. Observing and Implementing New Ideas

I’ve observed over the years, that it’s important to stay open. To new ideas and change. This truly impacts your life. Coming across the concept of minimalism was life-altering. It taught me mindfulness. The importance of noticing and pay attention. To question what I owned and what owned me and why? To dig deeper, and think about why and what I do believe? In everything. (This was over a period of several years, so it didn’t all happen overnight.) It was truly freeing and I’m better for it today.

There are lots of blessings from handling something one way efficiently for many days and years. But what’s stuck out to me, is that you have to have less in your life. That way, you have space to notice when something starts to spiral out of control vs. learning about it years down the road. The fallout can, and often is disastrous. When a simple tweak or adjustment could have been the difference between night and day. I often have honestly felt stuck in many areas of my life. Currently, I’m learning that some seasons of life require a different mindset shift. (Post coming soon)

I was allowing other outside influences to choose My Relationships, Joys and Experiences

Upon examination of my relationships, certain facets have come to light. Either I hadn’t noticed before, or hadn’t acknowledged. There were lots of times when I had an idea, or wanted to invite a friend for instance. Someone else would say, “Don’t do it.” or “Let’s do something different.” Sometimes they were right. However, I started to notice importantly, there was a pattern. If I didn’t notice and course-correct quickly…because of their influence and my overcompensating to keep peace, that other special person would and could be cut out of my life alltogether. Or I might never get around to the things that truly mattered to me in my life. Perhaps some of the things I was set on this earth to accomplish. I don’t consider myself a pushover. But I do try to be sensitive to other people’s needs. I also have needs and things that matter to me as well.

So When I heard these Statements I Payed Attention…

I started noticing my family members saying, “You’ve changed, You seem different.” Or “I’ve never known that about you.” And I asked myself, had I changed what I wanted in life? No, truthfully. I had always cared about those things or individuals. My realization was that if I didn’t go to bat for those things though, they may never happen, or worse, get taken away… I knew I needed to adjust how I was going about some conversations and be more honest and speak up for myself. Apparently I was often giving in too quickly to not “cause waves”. More honestly, paying too much attention and letting “other peoples’ peace” always come at the cost of my own.

What I’m Coming Away With after Noticing…

This season, it’s been important to have grace and kindness. For myself and others. I show up and give my best. Sometimes due to circumstances, my best is choosing a positive attitude and a grateful mindset. Do I want to live in another place ASAP? Yes. I’m cherishing time with my family though, knowing that when circumstances change, they won’t be living as close. Also I’m making space for personal things that bring me joy. Things that matter to me. My family is never going to pick those things first to invest their time and money in. Not because they are bad things, but because it doesn’t fulfill them the way it does me. And that’s ok.

Realizing this, I made the scary choice two years ago to go on a crafting retreat to Kansas by myself. It required bravery on my part. I only knew of a few people from following them online. I really liked who I had observed. But for me, (a somewhat introvert), in a room full of strangers… I was nervous. It turned out to be a wonderful adventure. So much fun that I repeated it again 6 months later. You can read about that adventure here.

In the midst of job-searching and finding my way around a new town, there have been plenty of stressful moments. Slowly, gently, I’m finding my way. God’s been gracious and kind to me too. And I’m learning from Him and trusting Him to guide me one kind step at a time.

Check out this post to learn about some of the most influential people in my life. They can change your life for the better too.

Thanks for reading. Have a wonderful day!